Saturday, April 28, 2012

wants out or is cheating....

so, this past week brian and i went to our 3rd counseling session and jack wanted to see us separate. i went first on monday and brian went on tuesday. one of the things he asked me was if i think that brian just wants out of the marriage and/or is cheating on me. my face looked shocked, i'm sure. the brian i've known for 8 years would never do that to me, so i answer i don't think so but that's based on the brian i've known for 8 years....this new brian i don't feel like i know, he can't be the same, it's possible, right? jack said that he's not saying that those are facts but said that's what he'd be thinking if it were him. would brian do those things to me? i cannot say for certain no at this point in my life. i never thought brian would make me question any of this about him. how did we get here....really?

so, mckatie comes over last night w/piper (and potvin who was visiting w/brian outside) and we talk babies and other talk for awhile and then this situation gets brought up. i basically told her what jack had asked me. she said that she was thinking along the same lines as that but didn't want to say it out loud. that maybe he wants out of the marriage but doesn't want to be the bad guy. although she doesn't think he's cheating now she wouldn't be surprised if it happened b/c of him thinking the grass will be greener on the other side.

i'm lost. is my husband really just trying to dump this marriage? does he really want to be working on this? am i naive to believe that he could/want to love me?

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